DIVORCE MEDIATION TIPS will help you to increase your chances of success in mediation, make the process more smooth, efficient, and fast.
Tip #1 from our divorce mediation tips list – BE EDUCATED, BE INFORMED
The far more critical mediation tip to keep in mind is to educate yourself about the process. If you do not understand what mediation is and how mediation works until you step into it, your chances of success might not be too high.
There are different types of divorce mediation. One of the most common is the process in which a neutral party is facilitated negotiation between spouses to resolve divorce issues and come to an agreement. We have discussed in more detail what is mediation in general on the what is mediation page and what is divorce mediation on the divorce mediation page.
Before you go to mediation, consult with an attorney. You should be aware of your rights and duties. This implies you’ll have to figure out how your community property should be divided. You should also be aware of whether you or your spouse could be entitled to spousal support or child support. You should also be aware of how the state of California calculates alimony. If you do online research for your specific divorce issues, be sure to read the California Law articles only.
Tip #2 from our divorce mediation tips list – PREPARE YOUR FINANCIALS
It is important to have a straightforward and correct picture of what you and your spouse/partner possess jointly and what you have separately. It could make an enormous difference in your divorce if you’ve been together for a long time. Be sure your financial statements are organized each account has information with savings, checking accounts. Be sure to have your insurance policies, retirements, annuities, stocks ext. You must know your credit card debts and other debts you have from different institutions. Although it is not easy to forecast your life, it would be also helpful to estimate your basic needs expenses.
Tip #3 from our divorce mediation tips list – KNOW YOUR CONCERNS AND MAKE A FLEXIBLE DECISION
Place the whole of the worries on the board. It’s suggested that you do this on paper. You will not get everything you would like in the divorce, regardless of how great you have been at negotiating. You’ll need to make a sacrifice. So, once you begin bargaining, figure out that whatever really would and wouldn’t want. What is the safest result you might get in the trial if something works in your favor? What is the worst outcome you could expect in the trial if something goes against you?
Tip #4 from our divorce mediation tips list – BE RATIONAL, NOT EMOTIONAL
A divorce is an emotionally draining process. Despair, rage, and regret over the divorce are normal and reasonable emotions to experience during such a difficult time. They assist you in healing and recovering from your loss. However, when attempting to reach a divorce agreement, such feelings may be harmful. Mediation is a method that is based on rationality. Planning for relaxing the mind before entering the room is the safest option to approach things during a mediation process. Being calm, taking a deep breath, and counting to seven before responding is an easy strategy that can be used when you sense like getting provoked by the partner. It is indeed a case of keeping the objective in mind. The parties must be prepared to put certain feelings aside to reach a realistic and fair agreement. A desire for vengeance, unreasonable expectations, and a desire to delay the settlement would put mediation at risk and reduce your chances to settle the case.
Tip #5 from our divorce mediation tips list FIND A SUCCESSFUL DIVORCE MEDIATOR
The last divorce mediation tip recommends an experienced mediator with successful experience in his/her previous mediation sessions. The good mediator should have a mediation certificate as well as an attorney license. You should also put into consideration how many cases your attorney-mediator settled. If your potential mediator has a high percentage of the settled case, it is a great sign because she/he cares about efficient and productive resolution instead of draining her client’s money on attorney fees.
Angela is a certified mediator and a licensed attorney with 86% of her cases settled before the cases came to trial.
Divorce mediation provides an opportunity to resolve divorce issues more amicably and efficiently than going to trial. Here are detailed steps to enhance your chances of success in mediation:
1. Understanding the Mediation Process
Being educated about the mediation process is fundamental. Mediation involves a neutral third party who facilitates negotiations between spouses to reach a mutual agreement on various issues like property division, spousal support, and child custody.
Types of Mediation:
- Facilitative Mediation: The mediator helps the parties communicate better, understand each other’s perspectives, and reach a consensus.
- Evaluative Mediation: The mediator provides assessments of the issues and may suggest settlement options.
- Transformative Mediation: Focuses on empowering the parties and improving their relationship by transforming their interactions.
Preparation Steps:
- Consult an Attorney: Understanding your legal rights and obligations is crucial. An attorney can guide you on matters like community property division, spousal and child support, and specific legal nuances in California.
- Gather Legal Information: Familiarize yourself with state-specific laws, such as how alimony is calculated in California. Accurate legal information ensures realistic expectations and informed decisions.
2. Financial Preparation
Organizing your financial information comprehensively is essential for successful mediation. Here’s how to prepare:
Financial Documentation:
- Assets: Gather statements for savings, checking accounts, retirement accounts, annuities, stocks, and any other financial investments.
- Liabilities: Compile records of debts, including credit card balances, loans, and mortgages.
- Income and Expenses: Document all sources of income and estimate your living expenses to provide a clear financial picture.
Long-Term Financial Planning:
- Property and Assets: Understand the concept of community property in California, which requires equitable division of assets and debts acquired during the marriage.
- Spousal and Child Support: Learn how support obligations are determined and prepare for potential modifications if circumstances change.
3. Identifying and Prioritizing Concerns
Before mediation, identify your primary concerns and objectives. Write them down and consider what compromises you are willing to make.
Preparation Tips:
- Best and Worst-Case Scenarios: Evaluate the potential outcomes if the case goes to trial. This helps in setting realistic goals during mediation.
- Flexibility: Be prepared to make concessions. Understand that mediation requires compromise and focus on the most critical issues.
4. Maintaining Rationality
Divorce is inherently emotional, but approaching mediation with a rational mindset is vital.
Techniques to Stay Calm:
- Deep Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to stay calm during discussions.
- Pausing Before Responding: Take a moment to think before speaking to avoid reactive responses.
- Focus on the Objective: Keep the goal of reaching a fair and reasonable agreement at the forefront.
5. Choosing an Experienced Mediator
The success of mediation largely depends on the mediator’s skills. Select a mediator with a proven track record and relevant certifications.
Criteria for Selection:
- Experience and Certification: Look for mediators who are certified and have a high settlement success rate. For example, a mediator like Angela, who has an 86% settlement rate, indicates effectiveness in resolving disputes.
- Professional Background: Preferably, choose mediators who are also licensed attorneys, ensuring they understand legal implications and can offer sound advice.
6. Legal Considerations in California
Understanding specific aspects of California law can greatly aid the mediation process.
Community Property:
- Equal Division: All assets and debts acquired during the marriage are considered joint property and must be divided equally. This includes tangible assets, pensions, retirement accounts, and properties bought with marital funds.
Spousal Support:
- Determination Factors: Spousal support is based on the length of the marriage, the standard of living during the marriage, and each spouse’s financial needs and abilities. Temporary support may be awarded during the divorce process, with long-term support decided based on these factors.
Child Support:
- Calculation Formula: Child support in California is calculated considering both parents’ incomes, the amount of time each parent spends with the child, and other relevant factors. Accurate financial documentation is crucial for fair child support agreements.
Custody and Visitation:
- Best Interests of the Child: Mediation helps parents create a parenting plan that outlines custody arrangements and visitation schedules. This plan should prioritize the child’s needs and maintain stability.
Modification Provisions:
- Future Adjustments: California law allows for the modification of spousal and child support agreements if significant changes occur, such as income variations or employment changes. Understanding this can help parties stay flexible and open to adjustments.
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